I think I just had a full blown anxiety attack or something. Today’s Tuesday; I’m supposed to go to my WW meeting, so I go with Rob to work and keep the car for the day. Last week was the first time we did this; today’s the second. This morning it started pouring before we left the house. I’ve never driven the Camaro in the rain, and Rob says it can be squirrelly. Actually, I haven’t driven the Camaro much at all. No real reason, it’s just that I usually drive, and my car is<\/strike> was more comfortable and practical.<\/p>\n
As we started out (he was driving) I became more and more uncomfortable. Throat tightening, adrenaline, whatever. I almost asked him to stop a couple of times when we were still in walking distance, but called myself a big baby and didn’t. Finally though, I had to. I said that I couldn’t drive today. He understood, of course, and took me home. On the way back, I almost started crying, which I did not<\/i> want to do. I got it under control then, but as soon as I got in the house, I burst into tears – wracking sobs, which I rarely if never do. I cried hard for a good twenty minutes, and I’m still leaking.<\/p>\n
Now, of course, I’m irrationally terrified that something Bad will happen to him. Dammit, there go the damn waterworks again. I know<\/i> it’s not a rational fear, yet reality is car accidents occur daily. I’m so afraid.<\/p>\n
Dammit. And I love driving. Traffic rarely bothers me. I love<\/i> driving. And, I’m a good driver, dammit. I’ve been driving for 19 years without (until last month) ever<\/i> being remotely involved in a wreck. Only one speeding ticket.<\/p>\n
Driving the Camaro last Tuesday was fine. Fun even, no problems. Is my fear today rational? Granted, I’ve only about 10 hours maybe of driving the Camaro, and never in the rain. But it wasn’t just concern this morning, or caution. I was throat-closing scared<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Rain here isn’t like the NW. It doesn’t rain that much and when it does it’s a deluge. Add to that roads that don’t drain well and first rain oil slicks. Add to that drivers who don’t know how to drive in the rain. I used to think that I knew how to drive in the rain and now.. god this is stupid. I’m thoroughly disgusted with myself. Oh joy, here comes the after-crying headache. Bah.<\/p>\n
So now I just wait until Rob gets to work and turns on IM’s. I’ll be on edge until then.<\/p>\n
I need to figure out something. I’m going to have<\/i> to drive the car tomorrow, no matter what. And I need it to do the things I need to do, rain not withstanding. Rain! Dammit, that shouldn’t bother me.<\/p>\n
**edit**<\/b> Rob’s at work.<\/p>\n
(09:58:46) Rob logged in.
\n(09:58:50) Jen: yay!
\n(09:58:55) Rob: safe and sound
\n(09:58:58) ***Jen is relieved
\n(09:59:06) Jen: and feeling very fucking stupid.
\n(09:59:09) Rob: It was slow. Scrunched car on 360 near mopac that was slowing things down<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I think I just had a full blown anxiety attack or something. Today’s Tuesday; I’m supposed to go to my WW meeting, so I go with Rob to work and keep the car for the day. Last week was the first time we did this; today’s the second. This morning it started pouring before we left the house. I’ve never driven the Camaro in the rain, and Rob says it can be squirrelly. Actually, I haven’t driven the Camaro much at all. No real reason, it’s just that I usually drive, and my car is was more comfortable and practical. As we started out (he was driving) I became more and more uncomfortable. Throat tightening, adrenaline, whatever. I almost asked him to stop a couple of times when we were still in walking distance, but called myself a big baby and didn’t. Finally though, I had to. I said that I couldn’t drive today. He understood, of course, and took me home. On the way back, I almost started crying, which I did not want to do. I got it under control then, but as soon as I got in the house, I burst into tears – wracking sobs, which I rarely if never do. I cried hard for a good twenty minutes, and I’m still leaking. Now, of course, I’m irrationally terrified that something Bad will happen to him. Dammit, there go the damn waterworks again. I know it’s not a rational fear, yet reality is car accidents occur daily. I’m so afraid. Dammit. And I love driving. Traffic rarely bothers me. I love driving. And, I’m a good driver, dammit. I’ve been driving for 19 years without (until last month) ever being remotely involved in a wreck. Only one speeding ticket. Driving the Camaro last Tuesday was fine. Fun even, no problems. Is my fear today rational? Granted, I’ve only about 10 hours maybe of driving the Camaro, and never in the rain. But it wasn’t just concern this morning, or caution. I was throat-closing scared. Rain here isn’t like the NW. It doesn’t rain that much and when it does it’s a deluge. Add to that roads that don’t drain well and first rain oil slicks. Add to that drivers who don’t know how to drive in the rain. I used to think that I knew how to drive in the rain and now.. god this is stupid. I’m thoroughly disgusted with myself. Oh joy, here comes the after-crying headache. Bah. So now I just wait until Rob gets to work and turns on IM’s. I’ll be on edge until then. I need to figure out something. I’m going to have to drive the car tomorrow, no matter what. And I need it to do the things I need to do, rain not withstanding. Rain! Dammit, that shouldn’t bother me. **edit** Rob’s at work. (09:58:46) Rob logged in. (09:58:50) Jen: yay! (09:58:55) Rob: safe and sound (09:58:58) ***Jen is relieved (09:59:06) Jen: and feeling very fucking stupid. (09:59:09) Rob: It was slow. Scrunched car on 360 near mopac that was slowing things down<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1609"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1609\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/robandjen.com\/jen\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}