Tuesday weigh in!

Well, I lost another pound this week. Yay! I'd be happier if it wasn't the same pound (or five) that I've been losing and gaining for the last three months, but eh.

For some reason though, I feel more on track than I was. Maybe because I'm making an effort to walk the dog and husband almost every night. Maybe because I've started tracking what I eat at CalorieKing. We'll see how it goes.

I'm thinking about quitting Weight Watchers though. NOT quitting losing weight – never! – but the meetings are starting to really annoy me. It's partly the wimmen gabble, partly the money, partly my cynicism over the corporate motivational crap.

I've been doing this for a year now, and I'm going to be doing this for at least another year, if not two. If I can do this on my own, I can't justify the $12 per week WW gets.

If.

Such a little word. Thing is, I think I can now. Never before have I ever done it for this long before. Never before have I done this willingly, without (too much) resentment. I actually want this now. To lose the weight. I actually believe that yes, I can lose the weight. I've never really believed that before.

The difference now? I like who I am. Not who I want to be, though I have improvements in mind. I'm a pretty cool chyk, right now – not in some mythical future where I'm a size 8. Because I like me now, I know that I deserve to be who I want to be – and I deserve to be healthy. It's not even about looks any more, or rather, looks are on the periphery. It's about feeling good. It's about having the energy to do what I want to do. It's about living my life with for many more years.

So yeah. The weight is coming off.

I think that between the LJ weight loss communities and CalorieKing, I don't really need Weight Watchers. I've got 9 more coupons, I think (I pre-pay for a miniscule savings) so I'll finish those and get the rest of the Core plan materials. Rob and I have talked about it, and if it turns out that I do need the physical meetings, I'll rejoin. I don't think I'll need to.

Current weight: 248.6 pounds
Last weeks loss: 1.0 pounds
Total loss: 43.2 pounds